i only ever drink water and at first it was because it’s healthy and what not, but now i’ve realised that the human body is 70% water so if i drink enough i’ll eventually become 100% water and i’ll turn into a puddle and all of my lifes problems will just disappear
last night i dreamed that scientists used a really bad picture of me to prove humans are closely related to goats and i was so insulted i woke up
"Do not make
out of people.
This will leave you
missing arms that
My dad just yelled “I SWEAR I’LL CUT OFF WHAT’S LEFT OF YOUR DICK IF YOU FUCKING TOUCH MY COKE DON’T YOU DARE” and I came in the room like what the fuck and it was my dad holding up a shoe and my cat sitting by a glass of coca-cola with his paw almost touching inside of it and both of them didn’t even break eye contact with each other
i hate it when songs are 2:59 seconds long like you’re telling me you couldn’t hold a note for one more second
I’m sorry, but if lesbians can control themselves in a girls only changing room with ass naked woman waltzing around. Then I figure men should be able to control them selves with clothed girls walking down the street. Just a thought.